Almost everywhere we look today we are reminded of the desire so many of us have to lose weight and change our body image. From the moment we reach puberty we are bombarded with images and messages of how to look. At the same time we are bombarded with fast and easy foods that tantalize our taste buds. For many of us food is not only just a source of nourishment but has also come to be equated with love and comfort. How many times have we heard the term “comfort food”? We are continually pulled in two opposing directions from wanting to look a certain way on the outside to wanting to feel safe and secure on the inside. Click here read the whole article
When a person does decide to lose weight we often face an incredible amount of internal resistance. We have all heard the accounts of people who have attempted numerous times to take the pounds off and reach the weight and level of health we long for and perhaps actually experienced that frustration ourselves. In a recent article of Oprah Magazine devoted to weight loss it was noted that “The National Weight Control Registry is conducting an ongoing study of more than 5,000 men and women who have succeeded in maintaining an average loss of 66 pounds for more than five years – among them, 91 percent had tried and failed before. The average total number of pounds lost (and relost) by a participant through various diets is a whopping 565.”
As a hypnotherapist I have people who are struggling to lose weight come to me as a last resort. These people have tried and failed to lose weight several times, having tried most of, if not all of, the weight loss programs out there. So how can I help and support them in their desire to transform their weight and effect change? I believe it is imperative that we begin with an exploration of the role food plays in all of our lives now and in our early development.
To assist us in exploring food's role in our lives lets imagine that we have gone to a Hypnotherapist as a last resort to lose weight. During the interview we confess that chocolate cake is proving to be the most difficult food to resist eating. One of our first memories is of our third birthday, there is a celebration, in front of us is a chocolate cake, we are the center of attention and we feel great. Often in the conversation we refer to chocolate cake as a reward. When Mom makes our favorite desert of chocolate cake, she is showing us how much she loves us. When we eat the cake we are showing her that we love her and she is needed. This programming continues to be reinforced our whole life and goes deep down into our subconscious.
This behaviour continued for years until recently we decided to lose weight. We joined a weight loss program. We lasted for a few weeks in the program but then slowly begin to slip back into our old habits and allow ourselves to have chocolate cake just once in a while and then a little more often. After a few more weeks we have decided that the weight loss program just wasn't right for us and we go back to our lives. We feel worse now then we did when we started and we realize that we are eating more chocolate cake now in order to bury the feelings of shame and guilt.
Given the little bit of information we have we can create a fairly logical series of causes and effects as to why we dropped out of the program. We need to realize that all of the decisions and motivation to change have been coming primarily from our conscious mind. Underneath the conscious decision to change is a deep subconscious habit that has been serving the security of our entire organism very well. When an uncomfortable feeling comes up we eat some chocolate cake and the feelings shift to feelings of warmth and fullness. This habit has been a very well functioning “stress management system” (as Dr. Robert Kegan points out in his book Immunity to Change ), and by reducing the intake of chocolate cake, during the weight loss program, we are now seriously tampering with the effectiveness of this system. While on this weight loss program the stressors in our life have probably not decreased, in fact we have most likely increased, as with any change. It is not difficult to conclude that this is a recipe for failure. The conscious mind wants to change but the subconscious wants the chocolate cake back so that it can protect the whole system from the negative effects and feelings of stress.
As if that is not enough working against us, let's look at one more area in which we are struggling against deep seated subconscious programming. Earlier we pointed out the fact that the chocolate cake has not only become synonymous with love, it as also become a very powerful reward. In basic psychology we know that if we want a behaviour we punish the undesired behavior and reward the desired the behaviour. In this case the behaviour we desire is to eat healthy wholesome foods and to exercise. If reward to us is a big piece of chocolate cake then what reward could we ever receive for the above mentioned desired behaviour? We are in a no win situation, if you do not get the chocolate cake as a reward you will never get the desired behaviour in the long term. If we do use the chocolate cake as a reward and we eat it we are then doing the exact opposite of the behaviour desired. As long as chocolate cake is a deep seated subconscious reward we will never achieve the desired conscious behaviour.
As we unpack the dilemma we are dealing with it becomes quite obvious as we can do to truly help ourselves reach the goal we are aiming for. The first issue is we need to create a healthy “stress management system”. Some possibilities are to learn a basic self-hypnosis technique to reduce stress; another is that we can explore cognitively what processes are going on in our mind to create stress in the first place. The second issue is we need to create other forms of rewards. Again hypnosis can be very useful in redirecting what the subconscious views as a reward. The third deeper issue will be to help the person untangle our connection of chocolate cake with love or feeling loved. Again we can create some healthier more empowering connections to love.
Now we can commit to the weight loss program anew. We have a new healthier means of dealing with the stress that will arise. We have a reward system that is also healthy and will work to instill the new behaviour for the long term. Lastly we will no longer view food as a means of feeling fulfilled or loved, but as a means to enjoy life and keep our organism working at optimum condition. Equipped with these new tools and new subconscious beliefs and programs we are well on our way to transforming our body, our spirit and our lives.
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